About Me

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I am a MATURE student in life and University. I am a mom to a 21 year old Daughter(How did that happen?) and university student. Mom to a busy 10-year-old boy. Wife of Jack-of-all trades for 29 years. Sister and friend to many. Sharon just lucky I guess.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde

Welcome to my new and improved Blog.


I decided it was time for a change!

I write this Blog for me, no one else, just me. It is a way to think outloud, and to share my experiences with the world. Maybe some will be interested and some will not, and who knows, I might figure something out myself. I will talk about whatever comes to my mind, and sometimes it is hard for me to do, but I will do it anyway.

I enjoy photography so you will see a lot of my work. I love to read and you will see quotes from my favorite authors. Generally follow my life as try to obtain my undergrad in Art History and English at Carleton University.

Please read, enjoy and comment, open disscussion is welcome.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

If it's not one it's the other.

SIGH!

Nathan was pretty good yesterday. It was Miranda turn to say mean things that hurt.

I don't understand. I know she is PMSING & Stressing but really dose she have to be soo mean?

The day started out with her getting upset with her Dad's questions...Simple questions

"What's you exam schedule like?"

"When's your First exam?"

"So today is your last day of Classes?"

She stormed out of the room .
Then I pick her up last night after she babysat and we were talking about the morning. I told her daddy only wants to know what going on in your life. She says We'll I don't have time for that he could look at the calendar. I told her he cares and you never really talk to him. She says she she's busy and has no time...Then I open myself up to this I say you talk to me...she retorts

'WELL NOT ABOUT ANYTHING IMPORTANT"


Slap..I stopped talking I felt like she hit me in the stomach.

Then she says but my life has nothing important in it, to which I reply anything you do is important to us. We love to hear about it.

I used to be her friend now I've become the MOM. The annoying Mom. The one I never wanted to be. I went right to bed. I felt sick. I didn't go to her room to talk and she didn't come looking for me like she usually does. What did I do to derserve that?

Stress to be sure. This morning she acted like she hadn't said anything wrong.
We'll talk about this. Tonight when she wants me to lay and talk to her in bed. If she wants to do that anymore.

Enough rudness. I've had it. Last weekend Jack and I both had a chat with her about answering our questions. She's short and sarcastic and we've had about enough. She wants to be independant...summer is coming. I'm going to give her a taste of what it's like. Ask me for a drive...NO....Ask me to go, she want to get her lincense Well she may have to wait on that too. Shopping NO...cook for herself and pay me rent. She has it too good. She might learn a valuable lesson. I don't have to find out what's going on in her life, and I don't want to intrude on her privacy, but she has to learn that She doesn't give me any either. BIG ONE. I can't remember the last TIME I had a full half an hour alone in the house, with out someone bragging in on me. Mainly her to wash her face etc.

I'm at the point that I want to cry. I don't want to control her...just be part of her life.

I know it's part of growing up and away. I remember thinking how nosey my parents were and they weren't all that nosey otherwise they would have found out about alot of the stuff that went on in my life that I'm not proud of. Do we all have to go through this? Because if we do why do we have children.? It breaks my heart that no matter how much we love them that we end up being the just"OMG my Parents! I can't do anything, my Dad is soo annoying and my Mom is sooo nosey. " Well honey if asking how your day was is being nosey Well I guess I'm nosey. BUT remember I love you and I will be nosey till the day I die. Although I won't be Grandpa A and call after you if I don't find you at home.

Sorry...This is a hard one for me to accept.

SQOB
Say AMEN if you remeber thinking this or have it done to you.




9 comments:

Hope said...

AMEN!!!
and this too will pass.

When first struck in the face by my daughter's female teenage pychosis, I was stunned. I really thought I was a cool mom, and our relationship was great.

Actual conversation that made me realize times they were a changing:

H) so, how was your day?

14 year old daughter) Every day you ask me the same thing. You are sooooo snoopy. You want to know everything about me don't you, just back off and leave me alone!

H) huh?


It gets better. It gets worse, but it does get better

sign me,
Surviour of abuse by pychotic teenage daughter.

Silver Creek Mom said...

I think we need a LARGE support Group.

LOL

THETHINKINGSQUARE said...

Ah..teenagers, you never know what you're gonna get when you talk to them.

Farm Mommy Kirsten said...

Thanks for reading my blog! I've been reading yours for a couple of days now! Small world, this internet place!

As a highschool teacher, I know that kids save their worst for at home. In so many ways, teenagers are like toddlers. You are lucky, you've got both in the house.

Their hormones rage, they are struggling for independence, but lapse so often into childish dependence. They want to reject everything that you value because that's the easiest way to differentiate themselves from you. It hurts like hell.

I can hear your frustration through your writing. Though forcing her independence this summer might free up your time, do you think she'll be able to see what you are trying to teach her?

I don't know how I will survive the teenage years. Being surrounded by them all day and then coming home to them at night might just drive me around the bend.

She loves you. She's just not sure how to be a teenager and a daughter right now. That's just a hunch. I could be off base.

Marla said...

Oh Sharon,

I'm going through this now with my mother, and I'm 36.

It's all hard. so AMEN.

But I'll say - I have to because I am having my own hurts because of it right now, no matter how it will make you feel about me: don't you let her break your heart and don't you go to bed feeling sick. By all means love her with all your heart, and let her know she can hurt you, but please beware.

Why? Because I can tell you as an only child - who spent her teenage years much like your lovely only daughter, that feeling a responsibility for your mother's happiness is sometimes too great to bear. It's too much power to handle so young. So don't give it to her.

You'll be fine. She'll be better if you toughen up just a little. Take it from me, please.

Silver Creek Mom said...

Thanks LAdies.

I will toughen up. I guess i'm the softey and my Hubby isn't.

I know she is stressing about growing up, she said as much. She wants to leave but yet again knows that she might not be ready to face the big old world out there. At 17 it's a scarey place.

Also wonder what else is running through her mind. BUT That's for her to tell me if she so desires.

I will Love her with all my Heart Marla I could do no less. It's not in me to keep love from any kid. I hope I will be like my mom who never interfers with us now that we are married. ANd NOT like my FIL who lets his opinion be know and calls everyone he can think of to find us when we don't answer the phone.

Jack is 46. SIGH!

BeachMama said...

AMEN and sending you the biggest HUGS possible... it will get better, we all did it to our parents at one time or another.

Hugs.

moe said...

Large support group with large glasses of wine.

Keep talking with her, try to find some common ground. She needs you now more than ever. It's when you want to pich them out the window, that they really need you.

Good luck we're all praying for you.

Naomi said...

Hi there! I'm a new reader, but wanted to drop a note to tell you that it does get better. (although, as someone mentioned, it may get worse first).

I have a toddler son and another on the way, so I don't have the experience that way. But I am a high school teacher (for ten years, yikes!!) and so I know a bit about the teenage brain.

Sometimes they just cannot help it. If they are acting like you are judging them, probably they are judging themselves. Existential crises are rampant. Hormones are raging. It's just awful.

Let her learn lessons, but let her participate in them too. Give her some control over her own environment, and she might feel less like lashing out.

Or just sleep until she's 20.

Good luck!