About Me

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I am a MATURE student in life and University. I am a mom to a 21 year old Daughter(How did that happen?) and university student. Mom to a busy 10-year-old boy. Wife of Jack-of-all trades for 29 years. Sister and friend to many. Sharon just lucky I guess.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde

Welcome to my new and improved Blog.

I decided it was time for a change!

I write this Blog for me, no one else, just me. It is a way to think outloud, and to share my experiences with the world. Maybe some will be interested and some will not, and who knows, I might figure something out myself. I will talk about whatever comes to my mind, and sometimes it is hard for me to do, but I will do it anyway.

I enjoy photography so you will see a lot of my work. I love to read and you will see quotes from my favorite authors. Generally follow my life as try to obtain my undergrad in Art History and English at Carleton University.

Please read, enjoy and comment, open disscussion is welcome.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Ummmm Thanksgiving Dirty Laundry.

Yup this weekend is Thankgiving here in Canada.

And usually it is my favorite holiday of the year. It beats out Christmas...with all the stress of shopping and presents, Hallowe'en...that Candy that I end up throwing out ( I have picky candy eaters) and Easter.

But this year it's not the same. You see I have a rather large family. 5 sibling all with others and 1 0r 2 kids. My sister and I usually alternate and have the family over for a good old fashion meal. It's always fun.


Last year something happened. I guess it happens to most families but I thought we were above it. I guess not. YOU see at Easter my mom who is in her 70's, fainted from all the work she had been doing to get ready for all of us. EVEN though we bring alot of the food she loves to go above and beyond. Pies, cookies, cakes and NO one but NO one makes the turkey and stuffing. According to my brothers. We decided then that we would talk about it and decide at Thanksgiving what we could do at Christmas. We all sat down EXCEPT for my parents and my oldest brother(who left early because he was out drinking the night before) and decided that Christmas was at my house in the evening. Since I got married it has been at Mom's at noon. The next day we told mom and she was ok with it. I told her she could make the turkey and a few pies but WE would come and get it and cook it all here and whent hey were ready to go home they could, DAD finds it hard to be in all that noise now.

Now my Sisters both knew, my youngest Brother knew, my parents both knew, but no one informed M1 (my oldest borther) Coming close to the holiday, well ok a few days before, Someone finally told him and he FLIPPED. He had made plans with his new girlfriends family that couldn't be changed and his Daughter was going to miss out on the whole family thing. HE was mad. He blamed my other sister and myself. Sister S2 (all the girls in my family have names that start with S and the boys M) and no one else. Even when everyone knew and the others including my parents see him way more often than I do. Even my dad got mad and blamed us and asked why it had to change and then I lit into him saying "YOU"VE been saying for years it's too much work for mom and now when we change and YOU KNEW what was up and never said anything to M1, it's all my fault for trying to do the right thing? BULLSHIT!" I walked away. He never apologised but he was nicer after that.

This whole past year M1 has been distant from the family. Although I treat him like I always did and will call him on things that he has done. I take nothing. (Like missing Nathan's birthday) So my S2 and I decided that if they wanted Thanksgiving , M1 could do it for a change. WHO says it has to be the females of the family?
As I sit here and type this I feel guilty. I want to go out and buy a turkey and call everyone over anyways. Just to mend fences. You know next year one of us could be gone. None of us are getting any younger and maybe Mom or Dad could be gone next year. Although I'm sure my Dad will be around a long time just to drive us all insane. ;)

No one has called to ask if anything is happening.
M1 daughter has a birthday coming up this week.
I'm not sure if I will get to see her.

It's hard to let things go and not do something.
While everyone is having turkey MY family will not.
Yes I am the big softy.
But not have Thanksgiving?

I'm not sure I can do it.


Marla said...

Oh, Sharon, this is hard. I know - we are going through our own family thing this year. We are lucky enough to have two Thanksgivings - American and Canadian.

For the Canadian, it bounces around the family. I had it a few years ago, and so I'm not obligated to offer it again for a few. This year S's sister is having it, on Saturday night. Because her new boyfriend, whom nobody really likes, is having his family's on Thanksgiving Monday. We had plans to celebrate or wedding anniversary on Saturday night, with Steve's folks - who are now more obligated to go to the family dinner. Fuhhhhhh....but wait for the end.

For the American one, which is on a Thursday, nobody in Buffalo is having a "big" one - so my Mom invited us. BUT - my Dad (a livery driver) will likely be working. My Gram can't come out of her home because she's too frail. It would only be S, J and me, driving to Buffalo for a dinner with only her. S would have to take off work and lose hundreds of dollars. A lot of aggro for us....

So - how am I dealing and why am I telling you this? Because my motto is, and has been for a while "I do not let how others are be the measure of the person I want to be". I thought about what I wanted for my family, S, J and me --- and we're going to dinner on Saturday, as a family if we have to. Then on Thanksgiving, we're having an open house with Turkey chili and Squash and red pepper soup for the vegetarians - all day, anyone we love can come. For American Thanksigiving, I invited my folks up here (to force my dad to rest) and so my mom can do the cooking of the huge meal she loves and we can invite family and friends over. This seems to satisfy everyone who's been feeling that it's all getting politicked and pushed around. And I feel like I'm doing right by my nearest and dearest.

So, you can do it - just do it as your heart tells you to, and the rest will follow through.

BeachMama said...

We take turns. For years my Mom did it all, then one year, I offered to host. Since then, we have taken turns and we each bring a plate.

We also do two Thanksgivings. But, the American Thanksgiving is all my doing. It's a treat for my Dad every year :)

Do what you like, and enjoy!

Hope said...

Have a small turkey for just your family.
And remember what the day is all about.
Sometimes, when people are "pleasers" they get crapped on.
I gave up trying to please everyone when I realized that by doing it I placed myself in the line of fire when someone was not happy.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

kate5kiwis said...

oh dear. i hate family politics. but i agree that it's important to kiss'n'make up. and i agree that you are doing the right thing in protecting your mom.

we have had two christmases for years. one on christmas day with hubby's family and one on boxing day with my parents.. the kids love it cos it spreads out the adventure and partying and there's less of a let-down when it's all over rover.

just an idea :o)
PS our darling son #3.. J10 was born on (USA) thanksgiving day. what a gift ;o)

Chrissy121875 said...

We alternate where the dinners will be each year, but now that I just got married this year, it's a little bit tough since my MIL ALWAYS has dinners at her house. My mom's pretty easy going about everything, so I guess my hubby and I will be going from house to house to please everyone. OMG..that's A LOT of eating! LOL!

Don't worry, coming from a large family, you're bound to have some blow ups sometimes :) *sigh* The joys of having siblings!