About Me

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I am a MATURE student in life and University. I am a mom to a 21 year old Daughter(How did that happen?) and university student. Mom to a busy 10-year-old boy. Wife of Jack-of-all trades for 29 years. Sister and friend to many. Sharon just lucky I guess.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde

Welcome to my new and improved Blog.

I decided it was time for a change!

I write this Blog for me, no one else, just me. It is a way to think outloud, and to share my experiences with the world. Maybe some will be interested and some will not, and who knows, I might figure something out myself. I will talk about whatever comes to my mind, and sometimes it is hard for me to do, but I will do it anyway.

I enjoy photography so you will see a lot of my work. I love to read and you will see quotes from my favorite authors. Generally follow my life as try to obtain my undergrad in Art History and English at Carleton University.

Please read, enjoy and comment, open disscussion is welcome.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Things Change and alittle Put Out

Yes since I last posted things have changed around here.
Miranda came home and announced she was thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. It came as a total shock to us. She seems to be so happy with all the cute things he was doing lately but she said she knew it would not last because he is not comfortable doing these things.
Yes she has been dating the same guy since she was 15. She has matured in leaps and bounds. He has but not as fast or as much. Which is totallly normal at this age. Most people say the same. We told her to wait awhile and think about it. Maybe is was residue from the play. She was people who were in like mind as her, but she didn't want to lie to him. Didn't want him to wondering why she was distant. She didn't want him to think things were fine when they were not. She didn't want to pick a university in the next year based on where he was going or wanted to go. She wants to work hard and get a scholarships.
She was tired of playing 2nd fiddle and being sechudaled in when he was free. Or sitting beside him while he played a video or computer game. They hardly called to talk anymore like they used to. They even have fought abit over religion. Not a good thing in my book. She believes, he does not.
By the end of Friday she had broke up with him. He listened to her kept saying OK and then said he understood, and that he would be sad, asked for a hug told her he would miss her and he walked away with tears in his eyes.

She came home, she cried, and cried a lot. I cried with her. BUT what puts me put is how people are reacting to me. They understand her tears but not mine, they tell me, well it's not you that is breaking up so why are you crying? I'm crying for my daughter. Her heart has broken, yes she did the breaking up but she still loves the guy and she is doing a very hard thing. I'm crying for this is another phase of her life that is over. Her first boyfriend is now a thing of the past. She will not have that first exciting sweet time over again. From now it will be a relationship based on being an adult. My little girl has grown up and that part is now gone. I grieve for that. And he was a great first boyfriend. I liked him. I will miss his loud voice and his conversation. I will miss feeding the boy every weekend and boy could he eat. Nice to see when both your kids are small eaters. I will miss hearing about what they did at school. I will miss hearing about the things he used to say that Miranda thought was so cute. I will her complaining about how had a thing about not giving her flowers. He thought it was not macho, and he would teased. One of the few things she complained about a lot.

And Yes I know there will be other boyfriends...many of them. And most will give her flowers and treat her like she deserves and I will not like a few and others I will love. BUT Through all her break ups to come...I will CRY. She has lots that I sure are just waiting for the chance to show her how beautiful and special she is. She figures I'm nuts but I know I am not. Two called the first night. They are waiting but it won't be long.

They talked last night. He said he missed her and wanted to call but didn't. She said the same thing. They both said that they should call when ever they want. BUT both agreed to work on being best friends. Not easy I'm sure but they are in a lot of classes together. And he will be here again. She has promised to throw him his 18th birthday. I am totally fine with that.

So to my darling daughter... You tell me you don't want or need me to cry and don't want me to cry with you. Well that is not possible, when you hurt, honey, I hurt too. I grieve because after 2 1/2 years you not be in that first sweet roamance anymore. You have become a beautiful young woman before my very eyes. NOW you will be moving on to different types of relatiosnhips. If I can cry at the little mermaid; I will cry with you... SO I will cry.

To T ....you were a wonderful first boyfriend to my girl. I'm proud to have met you and to get to know you and seeing that there were wonderful caring young men out there, when the world is full of jerks, and now they you are trying to be friends thanks you for treating my daughter the best way you knew how. I hope you are around so I can still feed you. Yes I still like you, you are welcome anytime. I hope you talk to your parents about what you are feeling. I know they girls will be hot on your trail...as I have been told they already have been.

To the people out there who having been laughing at me and telling me I'm not the one breaking up with the boy...I'm a mother hen. I see to two wonderful young people going through tough changes. So I cry, I grieve with them. And I stand back and watch from the wings. I can't rush in and fix a things, and can't make things all better and make them happy. SO I cry. AND your turn will come. All of you have young girls and when they break up, I will silently look at all of you and say I told you so! And I will cry with you.

And I will cry, I will laugh, and I will keep on being me, because anything else would be denining my true nature.

1 comment:

BeachMama said...

As sorry as I am that Miranda had her first breakup, I am glad that you were able to cry with her. I hope that nobody judges me when I cry. I cried at Christmas when my nephew wouldn't stop hitting my son and my son just sat with the adults instead of playing with his cousins. I cried because my son is so much like me and I love him. I hope I never stop crying when my son is hurting. And for my daughter, well, I too will cry for her when she is hurting. That is what I do and I do it well. I only wish my Mom had shed a tear or two for me when I was going through a breakup or a hard time. It would have made me feel better about my decisions.