About Me

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I am a MATURE student in life and University. I am a mom to a 21 year old Daughter(How did that happen?) and university student. Mom to a busy 10-year-old boy. Wife of Jack-of-all trades for 29 years. Sister and friend to many. Sharon just lucky I guess.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde

Welcome to my new and improved Blog.


I decided it was time for a change!

I write this Blog for me, no one else, just me. It is a way to think outloud, and to share my experiences with the world. Maybe some will be interested and some will not, and who knows, I might figure something out myself. I will talk about whatever comes to my mind, and sometimes it is hard for me to do, but I will do it anyway.

I enjoy photography so you will see a lot of my work. I love to read and you will see quotes from my favorite authors. Generally follow my life as try to obtain my undergrad in Art History and English at Carleton University.

Please read, enjoy and comment, open disscussion is welcome.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Happy New Year and some resolutions.

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Well it's 2010.
I'm glad to say good bye to 2009. It was a good year at times, but it has also a hard year.
I have not been completely happy.
I cannot put my finger on why I feel this way or what changed but I am not happy with myself or a lot of the things in my life.
I guess a lot has changed so this could be why am I feeling like this.
Midlife?
Maybe.
Stress?
Could be.
Well, we all have stress.
I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. Like I am one step away from completely loosing it. Some days I feel really, really good about everything.
Menopause?
Could be.
Miranda moving out was a huge one for me and Jack. We both dealt with it in different ways. I had my cry, and let it all out. It took him months to deal with it. We never really talked about it. Even though I did try sometimes he doesn't like to talk.
And a lot my friends have had it worse than me. They have had health issues, marriage issues, sickness, death, and just plain old bad luck. I admire how they have overcome their adversity. Makes me honored to be their friend.
I really have not had any of that.
I really don't have a lot to complain about. I should be happy. Satisfied. Content. I'm not.
I don't feel really good about myself.
I keep a lot of what I am feeling inside. I don't let it out.
When the New Year was coming in, I decided that 2010 was the year to work on me.
Figure out a way to make myself happy, what I need to be happy and then I hope things will fall into place. If not they will have to change.
I am certainly the happiest at school. I love that. That is the ONE thing that is keeping me sane and puts a smile on my face.
I decided I will not spend hours and hours alone like I do now. I realize I spend most of my day alone. Driving, even at school. Not good to be alone quite that much. I'm quite social and now I feel lost in a sea. Jack is really not interested in the same things I am, so talking about art and literature bores him. Just as me watching a Sci Fi movie or show, night after night, sends me out of the room.
I want to loose 20 to 3o lbs, become stronger and healthier. That will help how I feel about myself.
I want the swearing in this house to stop. From Jack right on down to Nathan...yes Nathan can let the F word rip like the best of them. I hate it. I have cleaned up my language, now it is time for the rest.
I want happiness again.
Tall Order?
Maybe.
But life cannot be like this for the next 50 years, can it?
Otherwise the stress will kill me.
I will keep a journal for myself and try to think 5 positive thoughts at the beginning of the day. One about myself, one about Jack, one about Nathan, and one about Miranda and the 5th thing is what is the best thing in my life at the moment. Even if it is that first CUP of COFFEE of the day.
What are your challenges for the 2010?
I have a long road to travel in 2010. I wonder what the year will bring? I wonder I by this time next year will I be happier and healthier?
I guess this is a journey of self-discovery, one that I have to take.

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8 comments:

twinmomplusone said...

We are all on a journey, with all its ups and downs. I'm starting to view life as a series of challenges. So its a matter of how we deal with them.

There's been a lot of changes in your life, and sometimes changes lead to an uneasiness.

You'll figure it out. Yes, time for you and your happiness. Definitely.


So cheers to a better year!

love

Silver Creek Mom said...

Thanks my Dear Friend.
I need to be me again, I do not want to be the grump I have been this year.
Time to smile for you and me both. YOU are one of the people I admire for your courage!

Much Love.

BeachMama said...

Great post Sharon. I am sorry that you haven't been as happy as you deserve. But, like you I am a social person and don't get out enough. Let's make a date. Whether you want to come for a Tassimo or have me and Apple meet you at school, or heck we could go out for dinner!!!! Let's do it, more than once, perhaps once a month even. Funny, I used to see you almost once a week when J was born, let's make that plan and stick to it, every third thursday or first friday or what ever works for you.

Love ya,
A

Silver Creek Mom said...

A

You got a date!

But alot of my problem is attitude. I have to learn to keep that positive thoughts or faith in my self and the world around me.
KWIM?

We'll talk...emailing you sooner!
Love
SCM

Silver Creek Mom said...

A

You got a date!

But alot of my problem is attitude. I have to learn to keep that positive thoughts or faith in my self and the world around me.
KWIM?

We'll talk...emailing you sooner!
Love
SCM

snackmommy said...

I'm sorry to hear about your funk SCM, it's not a nice place to be. I'm happy to hear that your school is a source of solace as opposed to more stress.

May 2010 bring you more of what makes you smile. Sounds like you are going to make it your task to ensure that happens as opposed to leaving it up to fate :)

v said...

funny how much you sound like me - maybe it IS an age thing? ;) I was worse last year at this time and turned to drugs - maybe you should ask your doctor? I'm not pushing them, but sometimes you just can't do it on your own. On the other hand, you've gone through so many changes, it natural to be stressed, so maybe time itself will heal you.

Give me a time/place and I'll meet you - for coffee after your 8:30 class? (I agree, they should be banned!)
I'm with you on the weight.
For us it's yelling rather than swearing, but I still want it to stop!
And I have a problem being alone too much, too - I'll be going back to work soon, and although I'm stressed about it, I know the social interaction will be good for me!

Silver Creek Mom said...

Thank you snackmommy and V

No I am not leaving up to fate to be happy. I tried that and I'm not liking it which I guess is part of the reason I went back to school. It can be stressful but when I am at school I have a smile on my face. EVEN when I am not achieveing the grades I want to ...yet!
It's not that I don't smile and that things are not making me smile but it's that nagging inner voice that I hear in my head that is all negativity. SO this is WHY I have to work on me...

V I will gladly meet you for coffee.I'll send you an email!