“Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” William Faulkner
I love this quote. It is one of my all time Favorites.I have been thinking about my blog of yesterday, and yes I let a B- get me down, and Yes, I let the lines that I have earned on my face get me down. Yes, I let negative thinking that is my norm; invade my brain for a few hours. I think we are all entitled to a self-pity party once and while. I’m Human. I’m a woman. A Woman who has battled many things in her life and will have battle many more, and for the most part, I survived gosh darn it! A woman, who has had many good things happen in her life, and will have many more. I appreciate my friends of old and my friends of new. There the ones along with my family that kicks me in the seat of my pants when I need it.
I have had many blessings, many good things in my life.
1st I have a husband who puts up with my crazy notions and has the common sense not to try and stop me when I make my mind up to do something. We do not have the perfect relationship, but who does?We have a good relationship and he is a good man. Not many could tolerate me!
2nd I have two great kids. I do not have to say anything more, they are great and I love them to bits.
3rd I have friends, lots and lots of friends. I am very lucky in that regard, I am not sure why I have so many, but any of them would help me and be there in a minute if I needed them. We may not talk all the time, but they have my back! MY closest group puts up with my whiney emails, about just about everything, and finds hotels rooms with my laugh! Love it.
4th I have a large family who, good or bad are there for me if and when I need them.
5th I have Sister in laws who I get along with, and are a hoot, and have a blast when we all get together to complain about our A+ husbands and Father in law.
6th I have a nice home that I love but wish was more finished AIGT. (All In Good Time)One that we have built with our own hands from the ground up.
7th I have my health, I am pretty healthy and have lost 30 lbs since I started back to Carleton, it is a big campus walking all over it for exercise at a quick clip makes it easy to lose weight.
9th I can read....you know how many people cannot read in this world? This is a blessing that I can read fact or fiction and enjoy it. I can afford to go out and buy that Faulkner or Hemingway, Atwood or Ondaatje and sit back and enjoy it , tear it to shreds looking for the themes, the connecting threads, the irony, the symbolism and know something about from which this autor is comingfrom. Where once I would have said...HUH?
10...I am me, even if some days I do not like what I see in the mirror. I am not the best, I am not perfection, and trying to be that is not what mid-life transition is all about. It is accepting yourself for who you are. I take one-step forward and two steps back but I will get there.
I think the biggest problem with me this week, is that I am going through withdrawal. Caffeine and school withdrawal, it is hard to be totally alone for 8 hours a day when you have enjoyed every waking moment you have been at school, learning new things and loving the people you are with. Yes, there have been a couple that have not been so nice but I have learned from them too, and I thank them for that. But in perspective that is 2 out of so many others who are nice.
So what’s next for me? Maybe I will ace that German Language Course I may take this spring. Maybe I will sit here at home and just read my reading list...Faulkner’s Absalom, Absalom! and the Bear. Hemingway’s the Sun Also Rises, Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray...just to start. Well when it warms up and the bugs have gone.
Or maybe a couple of books on Literary Theory...one never knows what will interest me next!
I will pop into the University Library and take out books.
And the Sun is shining even if it is cold!
Have a Happy Easter all, I think I have recovered from my momentary slump of self-doubt. Happens to the best of us. Isn't that what life and blogging is all about?